I’m bleeding right now~!

I’m so stress out right now~! I need someone i can talk to,please? Please? Anyone? I want to cry, i want to scream i want to….

I feel so alone. All the people i believed who are my friends, they are leaving me now…slowly~! One by one~! I can’t think of any reason why? Any wrong i did? or did I hurt them? I DON’T KNOW~!!!! The only reasons i can’t think of is I’m not useful anymore,haha After 2 years of hard work and effort i pit into this. I’m no use anymore~! The people i can’t talk to before just vanished like thin air and then no more. No Hi, No Hello~! Also they unfriended me now,haha. OUCH~! That really hurts alot~!!

Plus all the issues i got into. I’ve been working so hard for this fandom but still all my efforts not enough.  2 years. I spent two long years researching, posting, updating for all the people i don’t know, i didn’t meet, i didn’t talk. I did every thing for them. Even if i don’t have enough sleep, not enough time for studies and families. But still got nothing. Only thank yous. But thank you’s from them are enough to me even just smile from them and knowing they are visiting it. Honestly, i don’t know why i keep on doing this. I got nothing from it, only eye bags and migraine, haha but that what makes me happy. But still there are people saying bad things to me. They don’t know what I’ve been through, All the bad and harsh words? I accepted it…All of it. I didn’t say anything,i just get going. All of you, those who treat me nicely before just because you can get something from me, don’t know anything what I’ve been through. They just knew like i’m the girl who’s bubbly or funny and joyful…they didn’t know that i’m bleeding right now~! My heart is crushing. I’m so hurt.

But this time,i think i need to stop and give my self a dignity. I’m so tired. And i just realized it’s so tiring to a fight that from the start you are the loser. Whatever you do, no chance of winning. Haha

The most hurtful thing,the friends that i need in time like this are all gone now~! Haha they leave me behind. It’s so painful. I’m really hurt. I never felt hurt like this before. Just now~!! The pain is really different,it really hurt me so bad. It’s bad because i’m typing while crying. I really need everyone or just someone.

I can’t do this anymore…

Someone,i need someone?! Please~!!!

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2 Responses to I’m bleeding right now~!

  1. yuno says:

    don’t say like that….you still have me….i miss you so much…..not at all remove you…you are always in my heart….please don’t crying…i’ll give my shoulder for you….if you think your crying is better you should let it go with your crying…..i always be with you…..don’t be sad….i not think you are the info about ******. i always think you are my bestfriend…so don’t be sad….make your life happy ok…..love with you, yuno ❤ ❤ ❤

  2. Judith says:

    is it me? gomen ne~ we just had a semester break from our stressful days from uni. and finally we have almost 3 weeks of vacation! september is a hell month for me. i got ill for around 2 weeks and after that, it was hard for me to catch up on lessons. it was very hard to catch up! gosh i’ve been absent in 2 weeks and it’s very hard on me. then comes to the finals which is a hell 2 weeks in uni.( you know, exams, exams, exams, activities, homeworks.., exams, exams, exams LOL) and finally! we have our vacation since sunday. then the past few days, like 4 days, there is internet failure here so i can’t connect. it was very frustrating!! but it’s ok now 🙂

    ok that was a long story. anyhow, i didn’t know you had a very hard time these past few days. sorry i didn’t know about that and didn’t contact you. i am clearing my mind from the stress i got from my illness and of course from my university. that Dengue illness really gave me a trauma. gomen ne for not contacting you.. i am okay now so we can talk 🙂

    me too, i want to disappear from this world…because some of my “friends” in uni. hate me, my family don’t listen to so i am like in a cage in this house…that’s why i don’t talk too much.

    is my blabbering here that important? does it have a point?! LOL. so again, if you have worries, tell me. LOVE YOU~! 🙂

    PS. thanks for the text messages while i am sick. i realized that I still have a friend out there. i really appreciated it 🙂

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